Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
