I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
