Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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