That's when you crack a 10am beer
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize