he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
