I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
