elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
did you just send me my own nude
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
