i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love having hate sex.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
