Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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