For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
