I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
