Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
