i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
