i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
please don't ironically join a cult
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