I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
