We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
