I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize