my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No stitches, just platelets and will power
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
