What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
