ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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