So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
