she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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