You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
