Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
