Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
