We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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