Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
