yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
