i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
