there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
