: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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