I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
