He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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