At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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