reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
