Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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