i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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