You made me cry and you don't even care
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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