He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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