I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
