I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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