I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
