I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
