We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
