maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
