this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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