Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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