My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
