It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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