I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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