Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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