May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
