His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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