I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
