so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
