Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
