Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize