I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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