return my video game
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
