you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
