we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
