...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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