I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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