I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
